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Chronicles of msadele

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Patience Is a Virtue but Perserverance Is Key

Two years.

That’s how long it’s taken me to find a job here in Paris.  

Or rather, that’s how long it’s taken for a French company (largely international ones!) to break out of the norm and hire someone who is coming back from a “career break” and isn’t “courant”. 

They’re scared. Narrow minded. Afraid of change. They’re learning.

Two years to the very day, of living in Paris I signed. 

Two years.

Last night I celebrated with the recruitment team who have stood by me and never lost faith in me. I’m beyond grateful to Laurent Aumage and the team at Anson McCade, UK, who kept putting me forward and pushing me (and decision makers) to finally succeed.

Two years.

I hope my story can lesson the emotional burden for all the “career break” mums out there who are struggling to get back to work. Struggling intrinsically, the most difficult struggle of all. 

At your darkest times, when you feel like all hope is lost and your confidence is diminished to a tiny fleck of that brilliant woman you used to be – that is the time you dig your deepest. You dig so deep it hurts, it’s painful. Muscle up the courage to continue, so that black hole cannot, will not swallow you. 

Never stop your search.

Never give up on yourself. There’s too many other people out there to do that for you. 

Believe.  

Yes it’s hard, yes you fall off the search wagon, yes you will doubt everything you’ve ever done or achieved. You may even feel like a fraud. 

You’re not. You’re a warrior with nerves of steal and vivaciousness of fire. 

When your just about to the throw in the towel, and your burning the last straw, you’ll get a call and Just.Like.That. your are hired.

There will be someone out there who sees your brilliance, sees your relevance and isn’t afraid of your “gap”. For every 10 narrow sighted people, you will find that 1 person who says “Yes, we want you”! And you will start to breathe again.

However long it takes you, and in whatever emotional state you find yourself in (too many in my experience) try to keep this little cliche in the back of your mind and pop-it out whenever you start to feel low, “patience really is a virtue” BUT perserverance is what makes the difference. Whatever happens. Never give up!

Until that job comes through, keep your focus, find your fulfilment in your daily life, and lastly enjoy your child/children because in your near future, you’ll be back at work and remembering how lucky you were to have that time with your babies. 

I start Monday, 12 June with Renault Digital.

It took two years but damn those two little words are going to stand out on my CV.

Photo credit: giphy. Merryl, you own it girl.

p.s. my last post was July 2016. Honestly, I felt I had nothing of importance to say. Keeping afloat of everyday life and the job search has taken every bit of my energy.  Moving forward I’m confident there will be an abundance of material to keep my blogging alive. 

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My Whole Brain Is Crying

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Image credit: Google gifs. Merci beaucoup.

In today’s lesson I accomplished everything and nothing. This is how it went …

2 hour commute to my 2 hour French lesson – way on the other side of Paris. 3 tram stops and 4 metro stations changes later. I’m exhausted before I get there. So many numbers already.

I meet my tutor M in the local bar/cafe and pop a Panadol with my “thé aux fruits rouge”. Really hitting the hard stuff this morning.

We begin. I learn. Nouns, pronouns, verbs, adjectives, indefinite, definite and possessive articles all determined by gender (masculine/feminine) and whether they’re flying solo (singular) or at a party (plural).  M says “indefinite article” to me and I nod politely but really my mind goes blank. I’m supposed to remember this. I’d like to know exactly how many people read and go “oh there’s an indefinite article, a noun and a verb and there’s that doing word thingo”. Do you?

Moving on from my English Lit failure …

M taught me how to count. It’s very similar to Italian so it seems like a no brainer for me. Then you hit 60 and sh*t gets real. For example:

  • 60 is written soixante. 
  • 70 is written soixante dix, because 60 + 10 = 70. Dix being 10. OK. Stay with me.
  • 71 is written soixante et onze, because 60 + 11 = 71.  Onze being 11.  Still there?
  • 72 is soixante douze, 60 + 12 = 72. Douze being 12 …. and so on, until you get to the mothers of all the numbers, 80 and 90.
  • 8o is written quatre-vingts, because 4 x 20 = 80. Just let that sink in for a minute.
  • 90 is written quatre-vingt dix, because 4 x 20 = 80 + 10 = 90. Got it? Nailed it right.

Picture this … 

You’re at the checkout with no digital display to show you the total amount due. It’s common in the local stores here, at the butcher and the baker the candlestick maker.

You’re still working out the coin sizes (1 and 2 cent pieces still exist). The assistant tells you in the fastest of French, which sometimes has a Chinese or Vietnamese accent, “douze euros et quatre-vingt quatorze centimes”. 

???????? WTHeck ????????? “My Whole Brain is Crying”

Your mind goes AWOL. You search around in your purse attempting to cover up the fact you have no idea what they just said by looking for change, whilst you’re frantically trying to reiterate the words in your mind to come up with a ’round about number. You cannot work it out so you mumble “je n’ai pas la bonne monnaie” (I don’t have the right change) and hand over a bank note. Defeated.

This has been me on countless occasions. I’ve boycotted stores for this very reason. I prefer to support the local guys so I really need to get better at this change thing.

If you are still trying to work out that number, it’s €12.94. Easy! Ha.

 

 

 

 

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